Now that we’re all grown-ups, let’s agree that virtually everything people say they’re looking for in a mate is bullshit. Grade AAA, unmitigated, hard-to-keep-a-straight-face bullshit. When asked, both genders will dutifully and predictably rattle off the “proper” laundry list of traits they are seeking in a mate : smart, nice, loving, funny, and loyal.
It’s not that we all don’t want those things – but there’s plenty we do want that we leave off the list when sharing it with others, lest we sound shallow, and the unsaid items may well dwarf the spoken ones in importance when making partner evaluations in our biased heads. Continue reading Find Your Desirability Score!
Starbucks was once a place I avoided at all costs; my temporary occupation as a writer, though, has all but forced me to embrace the Seattle Satan in my everyday routine. It’s not all bad, it serves its purpose, and from time to time it’s a thoroughly enjoyable couple of hours. Some aspects, however, I just can’t deal with.
The Impatient Barista
Here’s a typical exchange between myself and the green-aproned soul taking my order :
ME : “I’ll have a Grande Hazelnut Coffee…an-“
BARISTA : “Ok is that all?” Continue reading Shit That Needs to Stop : Starbucks
It is, quite possibly, the only question in existence to which every answer given sounds ludicrous.
Even queries as massive in scope as “Who was the best person to ever live?” beget potential responses agreeable to most who hear them; an answer of “Mother Teresa” will elicit a thoughtful nod as a fair answer, for instance. Asking “Who was the worst person to ever exist?” not only has plausible answers, it even has a de-facto correct one: Adolph Hitler. Or, possibly, Nicki Minaj.
But offer your two cents on what the Best Song Ever is, and you will surely be met with an instantaneous and vitriolic “Oh, that is fucking dumb. No way. How could you even think that?” You can go with The Beatles, Stones, Dylan, or Oingo Boingo, and sure as the sun will rise you will have picked the wrong one to crown as the best. Continue reading …And The Best Song Ever Is…
For decades, college football writers and voters crossed their fingers, hoping one team would run the table and go undefeated through the year, leaving no doubt which was the best in the country. When the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) came to be in 1998, the same group now asked the Football Gods that two undefeated teams survive the gauntlet unscathed, making for a controversy-free selection of the teams who would play for the coveted National Championship.
With the advent of the College Football Playoff, the thirteen-member Selection Committee must be silently praying that each season presents them with exactly four teams ending their campaign with no losses or one loss each. More than years previous, those responsible for voting will feel public scrutiny and criticism of their choices; voting is no longer spread among faceless sports journalists across the country.