Tag Archives: Black Friday

Shit That Needs to Stop : Black Friday

Let me ask you a question.  The next time you’re out in public, maybe somewhere classy like an Applebee’s, would you be willing to accept $100 in exchange for standing tall and screaming:

“Excuse me! May I have your attention?  I want the world to know that I just farted.  It was satisfying in the moment, but I just now realized how eye-watering foul the resulting stench was, and the guilt is driving me mad.  I can no longer in good conscience sit here implying with my watering eyes that this was the doing of the chunky twelve-year-old boy at the table next to us.  It was I, and I am sorry.  Also, I consistently disappoint my sex partners.” ?

If you are, then please record such activity and submit it to me immediately for payment. Continue reading Shit That Needs to Stop : Black Friday