At one time or another, we’ve all been there. Some of us still go often. Yet more of us go once each quarter but put “3x per week” on our dating profiles.
It’s The Gym. Whether you patronize fancy-schmancy places like LA Fitness or that budget shithole Planet Fitness (like I do), the experience is largely the same – only the sartorial quality of the front desk staff, bathroom fixtures, and monthly payments vary significantly.
Unfortunately, the majority of that common experience is a frustrating one. There’s almost zero upside to The Gym, actually… maybe a communal sense of progress and a synergy of motivation? Yeah, that’s pushing it. It mostly sucks.
Exercise Bike Seats
I’m limited in my choices for cardio exercise, thanks to a knee that has been summarily stripped of cartilage throughout my adult years. There’s more bone-on-bone contact in there than a skeleton orgy.
Consequently, I’m relegated to the monotony of the exercise bike most days. I don’t mind it, and I could put in an hour of sweat equity in each visit, if it wasn’t for one thing.
Every exercise bike seat ever made is as comfortable as a flaming enema.
Remember that Mohs scale of hardness you learned about in 8th grade Earth Science class? The one where your teacher busted out samples of talc, quartz, seven other things you never heard of, and an empty spot where the diamond should be? Yeah, here’s the unabridged version they never taught you:
Honestly. How hard would it be to design a seat that didn’t push my prostate into my throat after thirty minutes of spirited cycling? Isn’t that the least expensive and difficult portion of the bike to engineer? Fuck it, I’m bringing a throw pillow tomorrow.