metallica logo

Ranking all 97 Metallica Songs. Because Why Not?

For reasons unbeknownst to even myself, I decided to rank every original Metallica song from their nine studio albums.  All cover songs [including the old and the new Garage Days] were excluded.  Sure, some songs like “Breadfan” would have ranked pretty damn high, but part of the criteria was songwriting, which you can’t really evaluate if it’s not a Metallica song.  The two original songs from the S&M album are included.

As with everything like this, it’s completely subjective, biased, and in most people’s opinion, wrong.  But it’s my list, and it will ultimately accomplish the task of entertaining you for 45 seconds of web browsing, which is why you’re here in the first place.

What I thought was interesting, relatively speaking, is that by ranking every song you can then qualitatively rank the albums.  To do this, I took the sum total of rankings of an album’s songs and divided it by the number of songs on the album to determine an ‘album average rank’.  Much like golf and lifetime STD totals, the lower number the better.  To make it easier to visualize in graph form, I subtracted each album’s figure from 97 to invert the scores so higher is better.  The results aren’t shocking, but the Black Album does worse than you would think.

First, the album scores, then the list….

metalligraph

 

1 Master of Puppets MP
2 Creeping Death RL
3 One AJ
4 For Whom the Bell Tolls RL
5 Seek and Destroy KA
6 Damage, Inc. MP
7 …And Justice For All AJ
8 The Unforgiven BK
9 The Shortest Straw AJ
10 Orion MP
11 Enter Sandman BK
12 Battery MP
13 Harvester of Sorrow AJ
14 Blackened AJ
15 The Four Horsemen KA
16 The Unnamed Feeling SA
17 Sad But True BK
18 The God That Failed BK
19 My Friend of Misery BK
20 Bleeding Me LO
21 Hero of the Day LO
22 No Leaf Clover SM
23 All Nightmare Long DM
24 Fuel RE
25 St. Anger SA
26 Welcome Home (Sanitarium) MP
27 Some Kind of Monster SA
28 The Thing That Should Not Be MP
29 The Outlaw Torn LO
30 Eye of the Beholder AJ
31 The Frayed Ends of Sanity AJ
32 Fade to Black RL
33 Disposable Heroes MP
34 Leper Messiah MP
35 Hit the Lights KA
36 The Day That Never Comes DM
37 Motorbreath KA
38 Wherever I May Roam BK
39 The Memory Remains RE
40 Low Man’s Lyric RE
41 Ride the Lightning RL
42 Fight Fire with Fire RL
43 Jump in the Fire KA
44 (Anesthesia) Pulling Teeth KA
45 Whiplash KA
46 Until It Sleeps LO
47 King Nothing LO
48 Through the Never BK
49 Shoot Me Again SA
50 Frantic SA
51 All Within My Hands SA
52 The End of the Line DM
53 That Was Just Your Life DM
54 The Judas Kiss DM
55 Cyanide DM
56 Broken, Beat and Scarred DM
57  -Human SM
58 Holier Than Thou BK
59 Don’t Tread on Me BK
60 The Call of Ktulu RL
61 Purify SA
62 Sweet Amber SA
63 Where the Wild Things Are RE
64 No Remorse KA
65 Metal Militia KA
66 Dirty Window SA
67 Fixxxer RE
68 Ain’t My Bitch LO
69 Poor Twisted Me LO
70 Mama Said LO
71 Suicide and Redemption DM
72 My Apocalypse DM
73 To Live Is to Die AJ
74 Dyers Eve AJ
75 Nothing Else Matters BK
76 Of Wolf and Man BK
77 The Struggle Within BK
78 Devil’s Dance RE
79 Carpe Diem Baby RE
80 Bad Seed RE
81 Slither RE
82 The Unforgiven 2 RE
83 2×4 LO
84 The House Jack Built LO
85 Cure LO
86 Wasting My Hate LO
87 The Unforgiven 3 DM
88 Better Than You RE
89 Ronnie LO
90 Prince Charming RE
91 Trapped Under Ice RL
92 Invisible Kid SA
93 My World SA
94 Phantom Lord KA
95 Attitude RE
96 Thorn Within LO
97 Escape RL

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Ranking all 97 Metallica Songs. Because Why Not?”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

CommentLuv badge