Let me ask you a question. The next time you’re out in public, maybe somewhere classy like an Applebee’s, would you be willing to accept $100 in exchange for standing tall and screaming:
“Excuse me! May I have your attention? I want the world to know that I just farted. It was satisfying in the moment, but I just now realized how eye-watering foul the resulting stench was, and the guilt is driving me mad. I can no longer in good conscience sit here implying with my watering eyes that this was the doing of the chunky twelve-year-old boy at the table next to us. It was I, and I am sorry. Also, I consistently disappoint my sex partners.” ?
If you are, then please record such activity and submit it to me immediately for payment.
If you’re not, I will venture a guess the reason you declined has something to do with being unwilling to embarrass yourself for a cash payment, much less one of that size. You have too much dignity to do something so ridiculous, you would tell me.