Now that we’re all grown-ups, let’s agree that virtually everything people say they’re looking for in a mate is bullshit. Grade AAA, unmitigated, hard-to-keep-a-straight-face bullshit. When asked, both genders will dutifully and predictably rattle off the “proper” laundry list of traits they are seeking in a mate : smart, nice, loving, funny, and loyal.
It’s not that we all don’t want those things – but there’s plenty we do want that we leave off the list when sharing it with others, lest we sound shallow, and the unsaid items may well dwarf the spoken ones in importance when making partner evaluations in our biased heads.
We know this. It’s the reason that guy or girl you know who makes you cry laughing and has the heart of a saint soldiers on alone, while that tall douchebag executive who won’t stop talking about CrossFit or the vapid selfish airhead with perfect breasts seem to attract the opposite sex effortlessly; our words and our actions don’t align when we’re playing The Dating Game.