So, I hear you’re an anti-vax parent? Yes? Wow, that’s interesting.
From what people tell me, you believe vaccines are useless at best, an express train to autism at worst, and you refuse to expose your children to such dangerous snake oil garbage? So that’s true? Ok.
Well, hey, how ya doin’? Feeling clean, healthy… natural? Great.
Look, I know we’ve had this chat before, and I got a little goofy with it, as I’m wont to do, but I want to ratchet up the seriousness and try this again, alright? I want to approach this from a slightly different angle this time around.
Let’s go ahead and just throw medical statistics out the window. We both know how that will play out anyway – I’m going to present research and statistics from the Center for Disease Control, American Medical Association, and the National Institutes of Health. You’re going to counter, then, with your research and statistics from pureorganicnaturalparenting.com, a conspiracy theory discussion forum, and the anecdotal experiences of your cousin Trish who “works in the medical field”, which is to say she wears scrubs to a job wherein she utilizes her associate’s degree in medical billing by deftly captaining the front desk of a podiatrist office. You’ll say I’m “brainwashed by the government and corporations” and I’ll call you “a fucktard jackwagon of idiocy.” See, there’s no need for that.
Instead, let me ask you this: why aren’t you smoking?